“No matter where you go, there will always be someone who can’t keep their nose where it belongs.”
[ ——» ☼ «—— ]
” I see. ” gazes over the other with interest. “ That is true, ” she answers, looking down and picking at her nails. " You just need to be smart enough know how to dispose of them properly. “ by no means would she suggest disposing of her own brother, but sometimes he needed to be put in his place.
❛ i’m sure you can’t. you’ve never believed anyone but yourself and your father.❜
it feels like her mind has done exhausting journeys her mouth didn’t, because the words drop hard and heavy not like she’d intended them. she bites her lip, no words anymore, just nod. she doesn’t deserve your bitterness.
but in truth it was just revealed secrets, acid and broken. a parallel reality she’d never lived into, it had always had been a terrible, terrible pretense all this time. azula isn’t okay, but azula doesn’t want to be.
she was bitter towards azula’s family, to have given her claws so young, fear so soon, teeth so sharp. but she’d never felt like she could press a word on it. ty lee’s opinions had always been dismissed by her, and with time she’d learned not to question it. to be chirpy. to pretend. to be happy when just a look at azula drowned her chest with cold blood.
she’d learned much later but her and mai had been selected to be her friends. nonetheless, she had cared for her like one, she had BEENone. she didn’t know about mai. never asked her. she didn’t feel like she had the right to do that either. it didn’t matter now, did it?
ty lee doesn’t move. her wet, grey eyes search over azula’s face without flinching, she can stand her, and she’s surprised herself. she’s scared although… —— of what she might do, not of what she might think. azula hasn’t done anything yet.
ty has always accepted her despite the monstrous thing she’s done, forgiving each of her sins but not letting herself forget her capacity to provoke chaos. what a choatic, darling girl, wasn’t she? what a friend. what a pest. what a monster.
but looking at the scars azula’s given her feels like nostalgia. she wears them as armor. words can’t affect her, ty had always dumbed herself down, sometimes she wished azula would have picked on that.
❛ i know,❜she mutters and look down.
❛ i don’t really know what you should expect from me. i won’t stop you; unless you want to get at mai. then…
but ———— i just, i wanted to thank you. you’ve made me feel like i belonged, even when you didn’t want to.❜
[ ——» ☼ «—— ]
The other girl’s words sting, and all at once it feels as if her chest is being torn in two. She doesn’t know anything about you, Azula !
if only that were true. ( when did her closest friend become a stranger ? why does her voice sound so foreign? )
but there is an element of truth to the other’s words. Azula rarely listens to the words of commoners, of the opposition. ( Ty Lee & Mai were always different to her, though, worthy of her time and care– whatever that might have been at the time ) Ozai’s word was law, but now that he was silent there were no rules to guide her, no boundaries to test. and here she was, standing before one she used to call her trusted, and the expanse between them felt longer than the distance they’d traveled in all their time together.
but how did it come to this ?
had she known her actions would lead to betrayal, lead to more pain for all of them, would she have done anything different? no, Azula doesn’t care abut anyone else. or their silly little hurt feelings…
or does she ?
she’s never considered the option of not living up to her father’s expectations, not keeping up her cold, hard walls. vulnerability was to be avoided at all costs but she’s never felt so bare as she looks into Ty's wet, grey eyes. Azula is frozen, doesn’t dare break the silence – waiting for her to say something more. doe she deserve this? condemnation? maybe she’s always deserv- ed it. maybe what happened back then was inevitable. her hands begin to shake.
what had she sacrificed for this? what had Ty Lee sacrificed for her?
“ It’s because he believed in me. ” she mutters, eyes locked on the other’s gaze, “ He – " used her. and her perhaps this is where it all began.
belonged is a funny word. the sense is even funnier, because she understands that feeling. it was the reason all fell apart when she lost the two of them. it was the reason she never felt comfortable in her own bed.
” I don’t want your thanks, “ she spits, she expects Ty Lee to know what she’s really saying. I don’t deserve your thanks.
” But I – I feel – “ this is all wrong, Azula doesn’t feel things, she’s always cold, always numb – she looks into those grey, grey eyes and sees something unattainable. ” I wanted to. “ she breathes, but she doesn’t know what she’s thinking, what she’s saying. she wanted Ty Lee there, to feel some allegiance to her, she wanted Mai to stay, she wanted her team to be her family. even though what she might have thought at the time was selfish, she chose them because she liked them, wanted them to like her. because despite what Ty Lee ( and all the others ) might think, Azula doesn’t like to be alone.
” You hurt me. “ she hisses through her teeth as if it were a curse, words come out in short sentences because she can’t form any proper thoughts, ” You … hurt me, too. " Azula is far from being the victim in this situation, but she is hurt just the same– and the familiar feeling is not one she intends on keeping inside. fingers grow hot, legs stiffen, and she closes her eyes because there’s nothing else she can do.
❝Uhh–––was there ever anything wrong with me sweeping the floor?❞
[ ——» ☼ «—— ]
blinks once. twice. sneers. " Don’t speak to me like that. “ she growls, making a step towards the stranger, ” I don’t remember making a request for someone to come sweep here … Who sent you ? “
Uncle always said : Pai sho could unite countries themselves
[ Placing the table between him and the cell, he watched her silently for her to react at him. Or maybe he could today was the day he bridged that gap. ]
[ ——» ☼ «—— ]
the sound of the board sliding against the stone is like a scream in her ears. she sits with perfect posture as if she were in a throne, but her head hangs limply from her proud shoulders.
eyes flick upwards, tongue running over her lips as she breaks the tension in the air by reaching forward to place her first chip on the board.
